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8 Factors That Stop You from Changing Your Reality

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What is it that prevents 95% of people from living the lives they want to live? If you could understand the reasons, do you think you could do something about them?

Here are the eight primary factors that stop you from living the reality of your dreams:

1.      Habit

We do what we do because of well-ingrained habits. A habit is something we do automatically. But habits can be changed. It only takes 21 days to instill a new habit (or to break an old one).

Remember: a breakthrough usually follows a breakwith, a breakapart, a breakup, or a breakdown. Sometimes we need one of these things to happen before we can change a habit. By replacing a bad habit with one that is more beneficial to you, you can start to create a RICHual.

2.      Tradition

What you’ve always done in the past won’t solve the problems of the future. Past thoughts and actions may have been effective then, but they’ll probably not be effective in meeting the demands of the future. If you want things to change in your life, you have to change. If you choose not to change, you will keep getting the same results you’re currently getting.

3.      Peer Pressure

How many times have you made a decision based on what other people thought? Understand this: if you allow other people to make your decisions, you’ll get the results that 95% of the population gets. Either change the people you associate with, or remember this: What other people think of me is none of my business.

4.      Lack of Knowledge

Keep learning every day, because if you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Learning is a four-step process:

1.      Unconscious incompetence: When you don’t know that you don’t know something. (Example: a toddler who is unaware that he doesn’t know how to drive a car).

2.      Conscious incompetence: When you’re aware of the fact that you don’t know something. (Example: A pre-teen who is aware that he doesn’t know how to drive a car yet).

3.      Conscious competence: When you can do something, but you have to be totally focused on it. (Example: A teenager with a permit who is driving for the first time).

4.      Unconscious competence: When you’ve mastered something and can do it without thinking. (Example: An adult who has been driving a car for years and can do so without even concentrating).

There is so much out there that we don’t even know that we don’t know.

5.      Fear

If you allow fear to stop you from striving to live the life you want, you are leading a secondhand life. In other words, you are allowing a negative emotion to control your life and are making a decision that results in your lifestyle and enjoyment being limited.

You may not be able to control your destiny, but you are in charge of the decisions you make on your journey.

6.      Apathy

To overcome apathy, you need to change your behavior or thought processes. You need to make a conscious decision to change your reality. Consider this formula for change:

D x V + F > R

It means Dissatisfaction, multiplied by Vision, plus the First Steps need to be greater than your Resistance.

To change something in your life, you don’t need to be totally dissatisfied. However, you do need a vision, some guidance, and, most importantly, you need to overcome your resistance to change.

7.          Pride

Some people would rather look rich than be rich. Before you make any financial decisions (i.e. buying a new house, a new car, etc.), consider if it will ultimately contribute to your creation of wealth.

8.      Identity

How do you see yourself? Do you think of yourself as being rich: an investor, wealthy, smart, and successful? This is most important. In the end, your greatest asset is your mind.

Be clear about the results you want to achieve. You might have to change a few things first, but it can be done. Remember: you need to constantly grow towards the person you want to become. It’s much the same for a tree—it either grows or it dies. Choose to grow, and you can achieve the life you want.  


Heather Yakes is an internationally recognized business coach and employee engagement expert ranking in the Top 10 in the U.S. & Top 100 worldwide. Heather is the recipient of the 2016 Business Excellence Awards Coach of the Year, the 2018 ActionMan Award for the Best Client Impact, and the 2018 Franchisee of the Year Award. She has 20+ years of experience working with Fortune 500 Companies and Big 4 Consulting.